Go Ahead, Boycott the Oilsands

Syncrude made a mistake that tragically resulted in the death of up to 500 ducks. Since this happened, a lot of people have been painting the entire oilsands industry as evil. I'm here to tell you that we are all in this together. The oil companies honestly do their best to minimize environmental impact, keep people safe, and contribute to the community. Oil companies are filling a vital role in OUR society. We all live a lifestyle that requires large amounts of energy and oil companies supply that energy. Wind and solar energy combined could not meet the current energy demands of society, even if used extensively. On that note, have any tipsters called Greenpeace to let them know about the dead birds under the wind turbines?

The best way to further reduce the environmental impact from the oilsands is to radically change our way of life. I encourage you to try life without support from the oilsands. To start with, oilsands oil is pipelined all over Canada and the northern United States (southern states and western Pacific coming soon). The first step in an oilsands boycott is to stop using fuels produced at these refineries. In Alberta, that means you can't use any gasoline, diesel, or jet fuel. No car rides, no buses, no flights. If you are okay with bird-killing wind turbines, you can still ride the C-train in Calgary. But keep in mind the train cars themselves may have been made using energy from the oilsands.

Okay, so it's back to the bicycle. Please remember to use vegetable oil to lubricate your chain. Oh, and the bearings are all packed with petroleum based oil that may have a smidgen of oilsands in them. If your bicycle was manufactured after about 1980, it's possible that oilsands energy was used to build the frame and any components made in North America. Don't worry about the parts made in China - we haven't shipped oilsands product there yet. Those parts are probably made from dirty coal energy. If you think Alberta's environmental laws leave something to be desired, I suggest you check out what's going on in China.

Boycotters get off easy on electricity. In Alberta most of the electricity is generated from coal, with some from natural gas. Some electricity is generated from oilsands fuels, but most of that is used by the oilsands. So you can have electricity, provided that your appliances, light bulbs, wiring etc were not manufactured in North America after 1980. Once again, there's a good chance some oilsands energy was used to make these things. It occurs to me that you have to be very careful thinking you are safe with goods from other continents. Those Nike running shoes don't just walk to your house on their own. Where are the ships, trucks, and trains fueled up?

I think we've established that in the new oilsands free lifestyle you can't go anywhere unless you walk there in your made in China shoes that you brought home in your handmade wooden rowboat. What about food? Food is pretty important. You can only eat food that is grown within walking distance (or biking distance for those of you with made in China, vegetable oil lubricated bikes). The food must be grown and harvested by hand, without the aid of machinery. Did you know that a byproduct of oilsands upgrading is sulphur? Over the last few years, sulphur prices have been high enough that it is worth selling the oilsands sulphur instead of storing it. Why is this in the food paragraph? Sulphur is used to make fertilizers, which are used to grow food and crops used for ethanol, biodiesel, and all kinds of tasty alcoholic beverages. If you want to be a puritan in the adoption of the oilsands free lifestyle, you'll have to stop eating and drinking, unless you are sure that no fuel, machines, or fertilizer were used in the production of your food and drink.

I think I've covered the basics of how to adopt an oilsands free lifestyle. Remember, we are all in this together and it will take teamwork to pull off a complete boycott. Please let me know if there is anything I haven't covered (remember that your computer was shipped within North America using oilsands fuels so walk over and tell me instead of emailing). Also, put the word out on the grapevine if you know of anyone in North America that can actually survive the oilsands free lifestyle.